2018: The year Mom died...
I usually post about her every birthday, her death date, Mother's Day, and whenever I feel the need. However, yesterday (Mother's Day 2022) I couldn't find the strength to post anything.
A few weeks ago, I started having the feeling of going into a deep depression. I went to work smiling on a daily basis and drove home with a heavy load on my mind. Work was stressful, but knowing Mother's Day was on the horizon amped my stress to another level. I decided to take a mental health day knowing I was not okay. When I returned to work, several of my coworkers said, "I knew you'd be off. I could see it in your face and your eyes. You looked tired." I WAS tired! The mental health day help me feel more invigorated! I was back to my normal, bubbly self again...until last week.
People really do care about me. I truly appreciate those who check on me even when I am quiet. Sometimes people check on me saying things they feel will comfort me. At times those things send me into a deep depression. Mother's Day week is full of messages where people check on me. This year, I received the most texts I have received since Mom's passing. I received the "Your mom wouldn't want you to be sad" texts. I received the "You still have a daughter. Celebrate being a mom" texts. I received the "Mother's Day on the Other Side" and "She's smiling down from Heaven" texts. I also received the "I know this is a tough time of year for you" texts. While I know every last one of those texts had my best interest at heart, the messages sent me back into a depression I had just crawled out of. I slept all day Saturday and Sunday and didn't read the 30+ missed Mother's Day texts until that evening.
Again, people really do care about me. What do you say to someone when your mother is alive and theirs is not? How do you comfort someone when you are not in their shoes? The answer: Keep reaching out to them. Keep checking on them. Yes. I was depressed the entire weekend. I still feel down as I type this blog the day after Mother's Day. However, knowing that people truly care about me puts a smile on my face. So, to everyone who reached out knowing this is always a rough time of year for me, "Thank you!" Y'all don't know how much those messages and calls mean to me! Although I was depressed yesterday, throughout the day today, I smiled as I read through the many text messages I received over the past week. You all are truly diamonds in the rough! #MuchLove
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